Forum Posts

Stephanie Brown Myers
Feb 14, 2022
In Self Help Forum
If you have been in an abusive relationship what kept you "stuck" and what "changed" and motivated you to leave?
Surviving an abusive relationship.. content media
0
0
12
Stephanie Brown Myers
Dec 02, 2021
In Self Help Forum
Dating Tips for the Single Parent After finding myself single following a gruelling divorce, the last thing I wanted to do was get back into the dating scene. I was a 48-year-old woman with a fifteen-year-old daughter, a career, and bills to pay. My focus was surviving and trying to be the best parent that I could be for my daughter, these two objectives left little time for dating. Even though emotionally, I realized I needed the support of finding a stable relationship, dating was a daunting proposition. My insecurities about dating were ominous and my personal responsibilities felt overwhelming. Then, there was the issue of finding someone to date that did not have a problem with the fact that I had kids and finding someone who my daughter would like. These factors were reason enough to avoid dating and to remain single. The prospect of being rejected because I had a child or of trying to find a suitable kid friendly partner who was trustworthy with my daughter just made me want to avoid getting to know someone new altogether, but I still wanted intimacy and companionship. However, after a couple of years of trial and error, I picked up a few tips that may help you if you are wrestling with the idea of dating as a single parent. The first thing that a single parent needs to do when re-entering into the singles world of dating; is to keep an open mind. There are many people[s1] that are willing to accept a partner that has kids. The empathy and patience you have developed from raising children are appealing traits to anyone. There are also other single parents who are looking for someone just like you. They have the same fears and apprehensions that you are feeling and are looking for someone who understands that being a parent comes first. It is a good idea to be upfront and honest from the very beginning. Do not try to hide the fact that you have children. This will save you a lot of time and hassle in the long run. There is nothing worse than developing feelings for someone and pursuing a relationship with them only to find out that they are not interested in kids. This can lead to many bad feelings in the end. It can also make a breakup hard and create animosity between both people. Honesty is the best policy. Talk with potential partners about their views on children. Don’t waste your time dating someone that has no intentions or desires to have kids. It will never work out in the end. A general, casual conversation can go a long way towards helping you to find the best potential partner. This does not have to be a major conversation or a big deal. Just ask “how do you feel about kids?” Be open and listen to their response, you can learn a great deal about whether someone is a good fit for you by just having a casual conversation. Oftentimes, the thing that scares someone off is a single parent that is entirely too pushy or tries to force a person into a relationship that he or she is not ready for. Be prepared for possible animosity from your children. Children, especially teens often have difficulty accepting a new person in their parent’s life. It signals the end of the relationship between you and your former partner but more significantly it signals the finality of the divorce and the loss of their family of origin to your children. New parental relationships can often re-traumatize children of divorce. Remember they have had no control over parental decisions to split the family. Expressing distaste toward their parent’s new significant other is often an attempt to regain some control of the situation. In extreme cases, children may even attempt to sabotage new relationships. Be open and honest with your children about your desire to begin dating. Don’t expect instant acceptance or instant like. Give the children opportunities to express their feelings, listen but don’t be argumentative. Remember you are the adult, and you make the decisions. Introduce the new relationship into the family dynamics slowly. Don’t expect instant acceptance of your significant other or any children your significant other brings into the relationship. Be prepared to take things slowly. Spend time with your significant other when the children are with their other parent and don’t change plans with your children to accommodate your significant other. They need to be reassured that they are your top priority and even though you may be excited by the new relationship it will take some time for your children to adjust to the idea of you being with someone new. Another important point for single parents to keep in mind is that they should not lose hope. They are not doomed to failure. It is quite possible for single parents to meet people and to date and have meaningful relationships. Maintain honesty and open communication with your children and anyone you might be dating. Set boundaries, clarify to your children that they do not dictate your relationships and be clear to anyone you are dating that your children come first. Dating takes patience but building a life for yourself is important enough to take the time to do it correctly. [s1]an
Navigating The Dating World As A Single Parent content media
0
0
12
Stephanie Brown Myers
Dec 02, 2021
In Self Help Forum
One of the biggest stumbling blocks to your child's classroom success often lies in miscommunication and a lack of involvement with the school and your child's classroom teacher. Missing assignments, missed teacher conferences, school activities and field trips can often be rectified with a few simple steps: Read the handbook: The handbook provides you with a wealth of information including dress code, grading policies, attendance policies, behavioral expectations and discipline policies. The handbook also contains the school address, phone number, web address, teacher emails and school calendar. Lots of confusion about the school schedule, grading policies and student expectations can be cleared up if you use your handbook for an easy reference guide. Check your google classroom or school grading site. Most districts now provide web access to grades. My district uses an online platform called "PowerSchool". Parents can check grades, find missing assignments, and check attendance. Many teachers also use classroom messenger apps like "Group Me." To be included, just give the teacher your email address for an invite or your cell phone number. "Group Me" allows teachers to communicate directly with parents about classroom activities, and changes to the schedule. Teachers also post daily lesson plans, upcoming assignment and classroom events on Google Classroom. As a last resort, always check with the students for letters and announcements from the teacher. Invest in a folder or student planner and encourage your student to keep all communication from the school in the folder. Many schools will provide student planners free of charge at the beginning of the year. If you do not have your teacher's email or classroom phone number, ask for it. Most teachers will include that information in their letters to the parent or classroom syllabi at the beginning of the year. If you don't have a class syllabus be sure to ask the teacher if they can provide a copy. Attend parent/teacher conferences, meet and greet nights and classroom activities if at all possible. If you can't make an event, ask if you can participate by zoom or at least schedule a time to meet with the teacher at a more convenient date. If your child is in the Exceptional Education program and has an IEP, it is imperative that you participate. During these meetings, a team of teachers and school professionals develop an individual education plan or curriculum to address your child's developmental needs, behavioral issues and physical needs. You are part of this team. The school is required to send you notifications of these meeting by law. You may also request an IEP meeting anytime you feel that your child is struggling and changes need to be made. Approach teachers with an open mind. In sixteen years as an educator, I have never met a teacher "who was out to get a student." I have met teachers who were struggling with classroom management, did not know how to address out of the ordinary student behaviors, or just had a really large classroom and needed extra help that they were not receiving. Before jumping to the defensive or conclusions, listen to the teachers concerns with an open mind, offer helpful suggestions about how to handle your student's behavior or any concerns you might have about your student. Always be prepared for a meeting, write out a list of concerns, if you have conflict with the teacher, focus on the behaviors you have concerns about and how it is affecting your student. Avoid making personal attacks. Following these simple tips can set your child up for a great school year or get communication back on track. It is never too late to become involved in your child's education, your student will perform better, and both you and your child's teacher will be happier. Truly the biggest investment you can make in your child's education is being involved.
How to create a collaborative partnership with your  child's school. content media
0
0
43
Stephanie Brown Myers
Dec 02, 2021
In Self Help Forum
People in early recovery struggle with putting their lives back together and often have financial and life obligations due to past neglect. Many newly recovered people begin to develop new interests and hobbies as a result of their recovery and soon begin to realize that they want more from a job than just a paycheck. Recovery is about balance, finding emotional and financial fulfillment in a career is a big part of achieving balance in life. Career success can give people in recovery a feeling of self satisfaction and it can be a big boost to self esteem. Figuring out what you enjoy and identifying your talents is a journey that requires commitment to a plan of action. Transitioning into a new job or career can take time. A good starting point is always self reflection. Make a list of the jobs you have held. Identify the skills you have developed in each job, what were the high points of each job and what gave you a sense of pride and accomplishment? Are there any jobs or current hobbies that make you happy and what do you want more or less of? Are you the type of person who needs a lot of structure and guidance on a job or do you do better working on your own? Use the Acronym DECIR (pronounced Desire) to help you begin to develop a plan of action. Describe what you want: What do you see yourself doing in six months, a year or five years? Explore your options: Will you need job training or a degree? Do you need to start with Adult Education or can you jump into a school program? Is there financial aid available? Tennessee, for instance, offers a program called Tennessee Reconnect which pays for adults to go back to school and earn an associate degree through any of Tennessee's Community Colleges. https://www.tbr.edu>initiatives>tn.. Create a game plan: Do your research. Connect with a community college and research what skills you will need online. Talk to people you may already know working in your field of interest for job leads, training programs or internships. Implement a plan: Create a time line beginning with 30 days, 60, and 90 days. You may just need to update references, a resume, check with employment offices and post your resume online. If you do not have a job then your job for the first 30 days is finding a job! Keep track of your progress, you may have to take a job just to make ends meet until you get the training you need but keep looking for jobs in your chosen field and never underestimate "getting a foot in the door" of a company you want to work for. Research your goal: Know what you are getting into when you make a decision to pursue a career change. Don't get frustrated. To borrow a phrase from Stephen Covey, "Begin with the End in Mind." Acquiring the skills you need to make changes will be benefit you in the long run. Addicts are used to instant gratification and climbing the career ladder is usually a marathon and not a sprint. Be prepared to "go all in" for the long haul. Build a support network of cheerleaders who want to see you succeed and don't forget to remind yourself daily how great you are, You are "worthy and ready" for success and the best path forward is made "one day at a time."
Finding "Rewarding Work" In Recovery content media
0
0
21

Stephanie Brown Myers

Admin
More actions